More than 'The Mandem'

Disclaimer: This is an honest exploration into my thoughts, personal experiences and meditations on all things that encompass the male experience through my eyes. I do not claim to have the perfect opinion, nor wish to present myself as being void of criticism. I am my own biggest critic and if anything, wish to use my art and platform as a way to open conversation of truth and deeper thought, extending that to all who may relate by identity or other means.

*TW - Anything a man has done to cause others harm. So basically every trigger you can imagine*

What is 'The Mandem'? and what does it mean, to be more than that?

To understand the phrase 'More than the Mandem',we need to define 'Mandem' and pay close attention to the specific presentation of that.

From my own personal experience, it is a term often used to describe a group of men that often have close, friendly relations. Often used in spaces composed of usually young, typically heterosexual, black, adult men. However this doesn't stop others from using it. It's older or other counterpart/terms would be the Brotherhood, the Gang, the crew, the pack/posse, the dogs/'dawgs', the guys, the G's, the lads or even the boys.

Now, when figuring out the title for this entry into my journal I initially gave it the impression of someone peering through a dark view-finder or window. 'The Melancholy of the Mandem'. I was positioning 'The Mandem' in a shrouded and hopeless way. However, after vocalising to my girlfriend the true intent and focus of these thoughts, and my wish to try encompass as much of the male experience as possible through my eyes, she managed to provide a more uplifting spin on this title.

I wanted to share my journey of manhood, masculinity, the male gaze and the Manosphere and not just how bleak or draining it can be, but also how to shift your own personal narrative as a man to lift yourself and others out of what can usually feel like a dead end. A reminder to men, sons, nephews, brothers, fathers, uncles... that you are so much more than 'The Mandem'. However to know how to uplift yourself, you must dissect the myths and laws that keep you confined to the narrow view.

Tenant 1: 'Mandem know what's Best'

You've heard 'Mother knows best' however I think a more fitting sentiment shared in male circles is that Men see themselves the givers of wisdom even going as far as 'never trusting women'.

From my view, a lot of what comes with manhood is a subconscious sense of authority, security and fixed ideology on how the world works. One of the first Tenant's of masculinity is the idea that "Men/boys are more logical, women/girls are more emotional". Almost a free pass or form of 'natural' certification given to every man who enters into the world that they are the captains of this ship we call life, they steer the boat and decide the fate of all within it. These are the seeds that continue the growing pipeline and echo chamber for men, which enables every man to act without consequence, creating a system where no real change is made. Creating a one size fits all mould for men. Enter, 'the amalgamation of male identity'. This is really where the backbone behind what makes the 'Mandem' what it is.

The 'bro-code', it all stems from the ideology that men's knowledge and understanding of the world is superior, infallible, truth, a holy grail that under all circumstances must be upheld, kept secret and dear, out of fear of being ostracized, kicked out or cut off. It means all who identify as (biological) men, either fits the same mould, or lose the membership. Paired with this is an uneven, unregulated perception on themselves as top of the food chain, with their genitalia being the biological tool that verifies their worth of membership. However, the irony is, if you don't reflect the same social norms, mentalities, behaviours as the majority, you undergo a social, inorganic/artificial castration which contradicts the importance of biology to perform masculinity. In other words to be apart of the club, you need the physical part, but having the physical part and not portraying the social norms, can remove membership.

Themes of this first dissection is explored in my painting:

Madmen mandem, swallows nest and the question.

Themes of:

• Membership

• Amalgamation

• 
  

It's why I despise the term 'The Mandem'...maybe it's about how easily it morphs all men into one identity and removes any agency, individuality or separation from the flurry of identities that are amalgamated into one. For some reason it holds this specific element and energy that when speaking of the term 'The Boys' for example, doesn't have. I am unsure why I feel this way, but I do nonetheless. Maybe it's the fact it is tied to 'Blackness' or maybe because of it's irresponsible, and unserious nature. Brotherhood comes with known laws beyond the ingroup and accountability, whereas Mandem comes with unspoken yet secretly understood rules.

Heavy emphasis on the unspoken element.

Men are problematic for this reason. They dont speak out or challenge one another. Often because it is met with deterrence or social punishment. Banishment from 'The Mandem', seen as disturbing a good thing, seen as being disruptive to the social tapestry that has been woven for many years.

I have been guilty of non-speech myself, out of fear of disturbing the Norm assuming the cost would be too dire. In reality, lack of speech comes with much more severe consequences.

I write this as a meditation and message for my younger self seen in the image of my nephew, and younger cousins, family members, friends and their children.

This message is that, you are much more than, 'The Mandem'. A message I have slowly been echoing through much of my art. Reaching it's first end point by the end of this year.

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My journey into the exploration of Manhood starts back around 2015 as I and a close friend of mine start forming the skeleton on what would eventually become the Isilo story. The inspiration for the character was based on a Black man of African origin who must relearn what it is to be human, where the audience meet the character is at a point where emotion is of great focus. A thing many men see as a weakness as far as I remember. I was 17 years old at the time, holding the sensitivities I had been brought up within my home, not fitting into a world of men that carried themselves as hardened, edge-lord, bad boys who wished to prove their power in a 'Dog eat dog world'. Never challenging the forefathers who formed the world we live in. Who could blame them? We all entered this world following the momentum of other dominos that were already set in motion.

However in this dark tale of inevitability who was to be the one to stand out? Push back against years of dominos that fell toward us?

In 2026, musician Mase J released a project titled 'The Mandem Need Therapy Too', a bold, sensitive, personal and piercing project made up of 6 tracks that speaks to one of the many experiences of manhood. What makes this project stand out however is the underlaying focus it had on therapy and how an intersection between ferocity, presence, peace and self love contribute to that journey that so many men often struggle to deal with.

Everything I comment on

with everything that centtres around the lack of therapy often so needed in that experience.

It was a crucial component and pairing to artwork I had been forming over the past years as far back as 2022 for my Say What you See exhibition.

'Mad men Mandem' (Syahi, 2024) was a painting that depicts an array of men I have grown up with in varying capacities and now that I think of it, was the first in a long line of art pieces which act as an ongoing commentary of "The Mandem" as a concept.

Since the art: Mad men Mandem, I have gone on to make at least 8 other pieces dissecting the experience of being a man from my own personal perspective and life.

1. Mad men Mandem - Some men in my life

2. Swallows Nest - A vulnerable man

3. The Question - A black man whose identity is of question

4. Strong Spirit - A weak man

5. Hold me, please - A man who needs help

6. Elephant Party - A man who thinks he is funny

7. The Occassion - A man who is elevated

8. Black Shepherd - The last man standing

9. i am a good man. - A man who wears a mask

You can probably get a feel for what I think about men through my art. As much as my eyes are windows into the state of others around me, they are infact mirrors that look inward. Commentaries and lessons about myself, for myself, to learn for myself. Only 2 of them really place being a man in somewhat a positive light, and even then...they are accompanied with themes of conflict, war and even intensity.

My art centres around a few specific outcomes. Art that is simply to adorn a space, art that holds more than what's on the surface and art that is unappealing as a concept but solely for thought. To name a few pieces which are mainly for the purpose of adorning spaces which feature those who are men or identify as so:

1. Le Grande - A friend

2. Striking Sage

3. Palms fulla Yaad

4. Waves

Men wish for others to lick the wounds they were given by other men. Men they allowed to wound them because thats

This policing around what deserves attention, conversation and real reflection is why a lot of men collectively don't deserve sympathy. We've done nothing actively to reshape the fabric of society on a small scale.

I say this as a man who has been a part of the problem, I say this as an observer of society and the various ways men in all facets have contributed to the problem.

Everything I say is not an absolving of the part I have had to play, but a recognition of that and more.

We come from a long cultural, historical chain of wrong doing embedded into the fabric of norms, stereotypes, ideologies, beliefs that are now masked as unspoken rules amongst 'The Mandem'.

Best believe when you start to challenge them, what once felt like stable ground turns into an uneasy hike against the rushing motion of a mudslide. A mudslide you and any other many must push against. Everything I have to say is but an interpretation and acknowledgement on a much wider pervasive issue that like many stubborn weeds can never seem to be fully resolved.